reverse chronology of thought

These writings are derived from stomach lurching mind churns. Like an emotional retching (often musically inspired) fit neatly into a few stanzas. Which, occasionally bring reprieve & a sense of resolve…though in this instance, it just curdled into another wheel. The lamp pops back on, pen to paper, get out of me…


lure the singing bird

awake at 4:45 am
driving for five
betwixt fallen rainbows
drawn on the gray foreboding sky

in Finnegan’s Wake fascination
with thoughts encapsulated meticulously
circulating in the compost heap
decomposing scraps discarded

by a haunted spirit
whose uncertainty of motive
lye like the ghost in all our souls
in Roddy McClory’s as he goes to die
on the bridge of Toome today

in shattered sleep
disturbed by echoes of demons
exorcising on to parchment
so that ne’er a tear is shed
from blue eyes worn & weary


dealing with sprites at 4:45 am

At first it seems thoughts of you are what keep me awake, tossing & turning, unsettled/incomplete. But that is just a cop out really, a glazed over ridiculous solution to the demons brewing in my skull…the shite that really needs hashed out. For instance, the searing judgment of hell (which I don’t believe in for starters)…what a horrible idea really…AND if eternity IS real, why would this miniscule blip in time warrant such definitive punishment? At best it’s a trial run to sort through reactions and actions in response to the trepidation & temptation you encounter in life. The very essence of life is growth…change, striving for that ideal that ideally should come from within. Ben Franklin said that when your actions and values are aligned, you’ll have inner peace. Well, it is high time we stop pushing our values on others. From the microcosm of my life to big stick diplomacy, how can an individual ever expect to be fully realized without being given the reigns for free, non-judgmental thought exploration? Maybe it is just the idealist in me, but I truly feel I might have come up with this conclusion on my own. OK, now the Leviathan is calling from the back of my mind, urging me to consider the balance that needs to be struck between rules, order and free will. UGH…I wish this was a mental battle (that was) easily resolved so sleep could be found. Maybe I will just fizzle out with unrealistic thoughts. They are all I can palpate right now in order to placate this waking state.