True Lyaf: mer should donate her body to science

So today a friend suggested that i blog about my health, so here i go…

My way of dealing with the strange illnesses that befall me is to talk about them…mostly because they are strange to the point of even confounding medical practitioners. But also, they are generally really good fodder for making fun of myself.

Yesterday, I was told that I’ll need to have a third surgery in less than a year pretty soon. Wait no, I don’t want to talk about that right now…let’s take it back a bit.

For some f*ng reason, out of nowhere (this January or so) I started developing pain which envelops my entire body. Turns out it's this awesome neurological condition called Fibromyalgia. Waking up in the morning was like escaping a cocoon, a real $h*t @$$ cocoon. It felt like I needed to peel my body open, limb by limb, finger by finger until I was an upright, fully evolved/anatomically correct human being. I am sure the resulting person resembled nothing of a butterfly, but rather a big whiney wreck of a girl.

Sometimes this process took over 30 minutes, just to get out of bed. Often, I couldn’t walk, so I would drag myself across the floor on my forearms like a frustrated baby trying to get at some primary colored toy. {I can say that definitively, as I recently watched my nephew with fascination as he attempted this feat} Only I mostly just had to get to the loo with the same sense of desperation and determination before I peed my pants. I never actually thought I was going to pee my pants, yes I did, no I didn’t. What?

Ironically enough, it was my sweet boyfriend who made me get out of bed each morning, and without him, I’d probably be homeless by now. Seriously…homeless, writhing around on my belly, drunk as hell.

That boy must love me.

Why I Eyes Ya.

This is my favorite thing of the last few months. My life is pretty exciting.



Love, Claire