So today a friend suggested that i blog about my health, so here i go…
My way of dealing with the strange illnesses that befall me is to talk about them…mostly because they are strange to the point of even confounding medical practitioners. But also, they are generally really good fodder for making fun of myself.
Yesterday, I was told that I’ll need to have a third surgery in less than a year pretty soon. Wait no, I don’t want to talk about that right now…let’s take it back a bit.
For some f*ng reason, out of nowhere (this January or so) I started developing pain which envelops my entire body. Turns out it's this awesome neurological condition called Fibromyalgia. Waking up in the morning was like escaping a cocoon, a real $h*t @$$ cocoon. It felt like I needed to peel my body open, limb by limb, finger by finger until I was an upright, fully evolved/anatomically correct human being. I am sure the resulting person resembled nothing of a butterfly, but rather a big whiney wreck of a girl.
Sometimes this process took over 30 minutes, just to get out of bed. Often, I couldn’t walk, so I would drag myself across the floor on my forearms like a frustrated baby trying to get at some primary colored toy. {I can say that definitively, as I recently watched my nephew with fascination as he attempted this feat} Only I mostly just had to get to the loo with the same sense of desperation and determination before I peed my pants. I never actually thought I was going to pee my pants, yes I did, no I didn’t. What?
Ironically enough, it was my sweet boyfriend who made me get out of bed each morning, and without him, I’d probably be homeless by now. Seriously…homeless, writhing around on my belly, drunk as hell.
That boy must love me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Why I Eyes Ya.
This is my favorite thing of the last few months. My life is pretty exciting.
Love, Claire
Love, Claire
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
BEWARE: rat squirrelz in our nation's capital
so, on my coffee break today, a colleague and I were discussing
the possibility that the rats and squirrels in dc had cross-bred
and were producing these hidious rat-like squirrels.
the first time i spotted this bottle brush, slinking creature i was literally horrified. i mean, these creepazoids don't even hop, they CRAWL
Bob suggested we call it a "squat", which is quite appropriate,
however when you mix their Spanish names you get "ratardilla"
which aptly describes this entire thought process...
then i found out this $h*t is real
and suspect some Laotian Rock Rat smuggling operation,
which honestly, would make me feel much better about it somehow.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Philosopher Phriday: Vol. XVI [Holy Crap Edition]
Dear Philosopher,
The economy is in the sh*tt3r, we’ve a lame duck in the oval office, and people are needlessly dying of hunger, disease, and war. i live in the center of the free world and am constantly reminded of all of this, mostly from loud mouthed young professionals. i totally care and stuff, but mostly i just want to listen to tunes, ride my bike and take the world in through my eyes like a tall drink of water. Does this mean i am shallow and a non-productive member of society? Is it possible that maybe positive energy can spark a light in all you see?
Aura Reflection/ Stable Economy
Dear ARSE:…It is called the rebellion of the masses. In order to understand this formidable fact, it is important from the start to avoid giving to the words “rebellion,” “masses,” and “social power” a meaning exclusively or primarily political. Public life is not solely political, but equally, and even primarily, intellectual, moral, economic, religious; it comprises all our collective habits, including our fashions both of dress and of amusement.
Perhaps the best line of approach to this historical phenomenon may be found by turning our attention to a visual experience stressing one aspect of our epoch which is plain to our very eyes.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Philosopher Phriday: Volume XV- Tuesday Political Edition (IT'S FI_ICK*NG BACK)
This summary is not available. Please
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
MER?!
Mer and I have been busy! Our last post was over 2 months ago!?! Say it ain't so!!! Anyway, life is good. She has a great boyfriend and moved to a big city and got a new job! I just got a new job, but it is so flipping sweet I don't even know what to say about it, other than it's on teh interwebs and it is NOT pr0n and it is teh awesome!!! Lolz.
Miss yoooooooooou!
xoxoxoxox
Claire [de Mer de Clair(e)]
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
merrion-clairester dictionary
merumba - a dance that culminates in participants falling in a less then graceful fashion
mertastic - when something is so phenomenal it ultimately ends in disaster
merination - something so all-consumingly hilarious that you pee in your pants a little
meritics - a political group whose main campaigning strategy involves giving high fives
mernomics - a social science that studies the distribution of disasters correlated to the consumption of alcohol per capita
the merited nations - an international group that strives to simultaneously maintain complete chaos and destruction as well as puppies, rainbows and sunshine.
mertastic - when something is so phenomenal it ultimately ends in disaster
merination - something so all-consumingly hilarious that you pee in your pants a little
meritics - a political group whose main campaigning strategy involves giving high fives
mernomics - a social science that studies the distribution of disasters correlated to the consumption of alcohol per capita
the merited nations - an international group that strives to simultaneously maintain complete chaos and destruction as well as puppies, rainbows and sunshine.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Mustache Monday Vol. 30!!!!!
Found online when I searched "Obama Mustache"
Happy THIRTIETH MUSTACHE MONDAY!!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Internet Famoose Again...
Yesterday Craig and I met Dan, of www.jokesacrossamerica.net. Dude just spent a year bicycling across the US and collecting jokes! I gave him one of the ol' Dub Vee yucks... enjoy....http://www.jokesacrossamerica.net/jokes/?p=336
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQCwqIYqqRQ&eurl=http://www.jokesacrossamerica.net/jokes/?p=336
Monday, February 4, 2008
in case you didn't notice.
Mer de Clair(e) is on a wee bit of a hiatus!
Basically we are both really busy and lazy and struck by winter madness. We shall return soon with a new, improved version of the site. Well, not really. We'll just start blogging again. Loaf ewe!!! --MdC
Thursday, January 10, 2008
go OOOOObama!
So I was totally on the fence about Obama or Edwards, but after two states and this ridiculous email (see below) merlikethesea is OFFICIALLY an OBAMA grrl.
*********WARNING: COMPLETE CRAP**********
Who is Barack Obama? Something that should be considered when you make your choice. If you do not ever forward anything else, please forward this to all Your contacts...it is very scary to think of what could lie ahead for us Here in our own United States...better heed this and pray about it and share it. We checked this out on " snopes.Com". It is factual. Check for yourself.
Who is Barack Obama? Probable U. S. Presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born In Honolulu , Hawaii , to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM From Nyangoma-Kogel , Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white Athiest from Wichita , Kansas .
Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii . When Obama was two Years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya His
Mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia . When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia . Obama Attended a MUSLIM school in Jakarta . He also spent two years in a Catholic school. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is Quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also Attended Catholic school." Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that he is not a radical.
Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this Influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned To Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct Influence over his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, Introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school In Jakarta . Wahabism is the RADICAL ISLAMIC teaching that is followed by the Muslim Terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since It is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major Public office in the United States , Barack Hussein Obama has joined The United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim Background. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran.
Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegience nor
Will he show any reverence for our flag. While others place their hands
Over their hearts, Obama turns his back to the flag and slouches.
Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential Candidacy. The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside Out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States , one of their own!!!! Please forward to everyone you know. Would you want this man leading Our country?..... NOT ME!!!
***************************************************
Actually, I DID research this using their link to snopes.com and it in fact says that their accusations are FALSE.
Here is my response:
To all:
Concerning the "information" written below (sic), I would like to see where this rant is derived from. It seems to be quite sensationalist and discriminatory. I somehow doubt that a leading Presidential candidate would turn his back on the flag of the nation he hopes to lead.
Religion has been a contentious issue among presidential candidates since JFK was called into question for being Catholic. Opponents accused that there was no way a Catholic president could govern without mandate from the Vatican, to which JFK responded that his religion in no way would effect his decisions and ability to lead the United States of America. America is after all the melting pot, and the separation of church and state is a founding principle.
Barack Obama is widely recognized as a candidate for positive change, one whose message is one of collaboration among parties, not division. His record is consistent with his message, and to hear him speak, you get the feeling that he genuinely seems sincere about his commitment to the American people. The fact that he is black and possibly at one time practiced Islam is irrelevant to me. Our beloved Robert C. Byrd was admittedly a member of the KKK at one time, a bigoted and racist organization. Look at all of the wonderful things he has done for the state of West Virginia.
I plead with all of you to take a closer look into the candidates. Look at what their record speaks of and where they stand on the REAL issues.
Please do not let your VITAL and IMPORTANT vote be swayed by fear mongering and hearsay.
Your fellow citizen,
merlikethesea
*********WARNING: COMPLETE CRAP**********
Who is Barack Obama? Something that should be considered when you make your choice. If you do not ever forward anything else, please forward this to all Your contacts...it is very scary to think of what could lie ahead for us Here in our own United States...better heed this and pray about it and share it. We checked this out on " snopes.Com". It is factual. Check for yourself.
Who is Barack Obama? Probable U. S. Presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born In Honolulu , Hawaii , to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM From Nyangoma-Kogel , Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white Athiest from Wichita , Kansas .
Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii . When Obama was two Years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya His
Mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia . When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia . Obama Attended a MUSLIM school in Jakarta . He also spent two years in a Catholic school. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is Quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also Attended Catholic school." Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that he is not a radical.
Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this Influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned To Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct Influence over his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, Introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school In Jakarta . Wahabism is the RADICAL ISLAMIC teaching that is followed by the Muslim Terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since It is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major Public office in the United States , Barack Hussein Obama has joined The United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim Background. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran.
Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegience nor
Will he show any reverence for our flag. While others place their hands
Over their hearts, Obama turns his back to the flag and slouches.
Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential Candidacy. The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside Out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States , one of their own!!!! Please forward to everyone you know. Would you want this man leading Our country?..... NOT ME!!!
***************************************************
Actually, I DID research this using their link to snopes.com and it in fact says that their accusations are FALSE.
Here is my response:
To all:
Concerning the "information" written below (sic), I would like to see where this rant is derived from. It seems to be quite sensationalist and discriminatory. I somehow doubt that a leading Presidential candidate would turn his back on the flag of the nation he hopes to lead.
Religion has been a contentious issue among presidential candidates since JFK was called into question for being Catholic. Opponents accused that there was no way a Catholic president could govern without mandate from the Vatican, to which JFK responded that his religion in no way would effect his decisions and ability to lead the United States of America. America is after all the melting pot, and the separation of church and state is a founding principle.
Barack Obama is widely recognized as a candidate for positive change, one whose message is one of collaboration among parties, not division. His record is consistent with his message, and to hear him speak, you get the feeling that he genuinely seems sincere about his commitment to the American people. The fact that he is black and possibly at one time practiced Islam is irrelevant to me. Our beloved Robert C. Byrd was admittedly a member of the KKK at one time, a bigoted and racist organization. Look at all of the wonderful things he has done for the state of West Virginia.
I plead with all of you to take a closer look into the candidates. Look at what their record speaks of and where they stand on the REAL issues.
Please do not let your VITAL and IMPORTANT vote be swayed by fear mongering and hearsay.
Your fellow citizen,
merlikethesea
Monday, January 7, 2008
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