increasing exhaustion felt by existence
the majority of each day in this world
consumed amoung unspoken judgments
of obvious inability to be the expected
where sparkle is hailed
but the glean of their praise
is liken to the waxen surface of an apple
wrought with pesticides like a back-handed compliment
lungs collapse under heavy breath
bore down upon by suffocating air
“home” feels like a chamber
where ones head pounds numbly at these thoughts
grappling for comfort amoungst cotton sheets
& other textiles smooth to the hand
anything to provide a barrier between body
& loneliness, fear and self-provoked isolation
one doesn’t long for this seemingly
quite to the contrary
few & far between are the souls
deemed worthy of energetic love
which to bottle up empties
a part of the force
as if there were crevices
from which it to spill
unfailing memories of those lost
pose to haunt at the first sign of weakness
despite endless internalizing
externalizing, exercising of exorcises
maybe this is what one must traverse
for to be full up
containing of a resonating, warming
insular sense of soundness
reconciling sense of self to the makeup of externality
grasping for the embrace I’ve always felt
beauty exuded
would meet up with in truth
xo, merlikethesea
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