Showing posts with label craig. Show all posts
Showing posts with label craig. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

MER?!


Mer and I have been busy! Our last post was over 2 months ago!?! Say it ain't so!!! Anyway, life is good. She has a great boyfriend and moved to a big city and got a new job! I just got a new job, but it is so flipping sweet I don't even know what to say about it, other than it's on teh interwebs and it is NOT pr0n and it is teh awesome!!! Lolz.

Miss yoooooooooou!


xoxoxoxox

Claire [de Mer de Clair(e)]

Friday, February 8, 2008

look who supports hillary......

good thing i'm a pagan
*thanks to craig for this submission

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

the cafe where i was somehow insulted in another language


This is a picture of me holding a lovely plate of fancy sandwiches in a café in Vienna, Austria. Craig made it fancy. I love him.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

LIARS PUT POISON IN MY VEINS

SOOO kids, apparently there is another mer in the world who texts “teh teh teh teh teh teh”…or at that’s what some compulsive liar essentially told me yesterday. You don’t get me confused with other people. It just doesn’t happen. People mistake other people for me, not the other way around. To preface this mini rant, let me just say that liars are the scourge of the earth. They should be tickle tortured until they wet themselves, then tied to a pole for everyone to point and laugh at. Kind of like what they did to Bart in the Simpsons movie.

White lies are ok, like telling small children you don’t have any gum, when you like, have a whole pack in your back pocket. When Craig was growing up, his mom would only let him have ½ a stick of gum. So now he tears his gum in half because as he says, “I was trained by a crazy woman.” See, even a crazy woman knows the difference between white lies and real ones. Certain people need to take note.

happy august

Craig and I are both wearing red and black today.

Friday, July 20, 2007

DEAR CATASTROPHE RECEPTIONIST!!!



I was at the office at 420 Lexington, 14th floor, between 43rd and 44th.

It was closing time, and I was trying to decide whether to put my still-damp (from that morning's deluge) Vans on, or just wear my heels to go meet friends for dinner. It had been raining off and on during the day, and so I wasn't surprised to hear a low rumble of thunder. The noise got louder and went on for much longer than thunder should go on. I heard people screaming in the street...I looked out of the window and saw people running north, away from the direction of the noise. Running and screaming. It looked like all the videos taken during 9/11. I thought it WAS 9/11 all over again...I really thought an airplane was about to crash into the building. I ran into the hallway, saw a woman from another office. I yelled, "EVERYONE IN THE STREET IS RUNNING AND SCREAMING! THERE'S A LOUD NOISE OUTSIDE! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!" She started freaking out too.

I ran back inside and looked out the window again. I'm not sure what I was thinking. People were still running and screaming. Back in the hall, everyone from my office was getting ready to leave. We all clamoured into the elevator, like 15 people. I started to freak out when the elevator didn't start. "TAKE THE STAIRS!" I yelled.

We all ran down the stairs, 14 floors. I think I blacked out a little, because I don't remember the numbers until the 3rd floor. The sound of hundreds of people running down the stairs was nearly as thunderous as the noise from outside. I was running, and praying, probably audibly...Acts of Contrition, Hail Marys...my bare feet slapping against the stone stairs, John McClane style. At some point I started wondering what we'd find outside...burning bodies? napalm death? exploding fuselage? We finally popped out through an emergency exit, and made it into the Grand Central Market. The group started heading towards the front door of the market, and my instinct told me not to go that way. A man yelled,"GET AWAY FROM THE WINDOWS!" I ran back towards the main concourse. I heard people saying things about a tornado, that a bus had flown up into the air.

I ran with Craig and Bridget and Christine toward the Met Life building. We ended up walking northwest...towards the library, where we stopped and chatted with some cute guys in suits who were covered in mud, (Bridget and I are going to Missed Connections them, hopefully they're not too contaminated--nothing like disaster fucking!) and had evacuated their office at 375 Lex (I'd temped in that building last year.) From the library we had a clear view of the steam rising from the site of the explosion. At this point people were saying that a transformer had exploded; my friend Jared remarked today that his thought was "they're real!?!?" Hey, at this point, I was so confused that I don't think I would've blinked if Optimus Prime started stomping down the street.

With imminent danger seemingly behind us, Craig, Bridget and I set off to the south, to get to Bridget's apartment on 14th Street. (We were right near St. Patrick's Cathedral at this point, which was comforting to me...I swear, I think I refound Jesus yesterday. We stopped in a Payless and Bridget bought me some flip-flops. My money, IDs, housekeys, telephone...were ALL in our office. We walked to Union Square and got burgers and booze. I went to Bridget's, threw all my clothes into a plastic bag in case of contamination, put on some of Bridget's pajamas, and passed out.

This morning, we went to the office like normal...there is a weird smell in the air, and about a 4 block area is locked down. I recovered my belongings and peaced out. Craig is there now...thanks, Craig..I hope your day goes well. I guess I'm going to chill today and try to get my head together. I hope all of my NYC friends are doing ok today! It's not every day that you run for your life, right???

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

yer tuesday soap opera

Craig finds out Mer is cheating on him, sends...

Mer: that's not me!!! it's cholë sevigny!

Claire B: I got some pics of Chloe.
And she uses her mouth differently

CM: I KNEW it! it's YOU cheater wifey!

M: it isn't my fault that i'm
insati@ble
God made me this way
so he can't send me to he11 for it either

CM: I lobe you

C: Mer is a


O
M: ugh, i don't get it. who is that painter?

C: NYMPH
Hahaha
(Daphne and Apollo)


M: you know what they say about women approaching their 30s?
wait, do they say anything?
they should...specifically about me.


CM: how old are you? 30 is the new 20

C: 17 is the new 25. Huh huh.

craig guest "glogging"

mer is luna in a late-twenties format?

craig and mer, only with really bad taste in fashion


Friday, June 29, 2007

claire n' craig

claire makes me feel nuts
craig turns me on
i love these people

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Wifey McMiddleton

this is Craig, we just got hitched
sorry intelligent boyz, i am off the market

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

the economist


Note: this blog is a redo…the original is written on a United Airlines napkin and is probably littering San Francisco.

i was perusing the magazine racks at the airport, looking for some flight reading (get it?). After considering the highly intellectual publications of “Jane” and “OK”, i decided that perhaps it was time i started reading about things like climate change (which the economist cover boasted) as opposed to fashion magazines and classic novels that i fall asleep reading after like ten pages.

It is strange that i would buy “the Economist”, because not only did i hate Economics in college, i actually cried studying for my Microeconomics final because i couldn’t hack it and knew a “C” was inevitable (it was & in hindsight, who cares).

As i was saying…”the Economist” had me at Ahern (lame reference!), Bertie Ahern. Its pictures are sparse yet affecting (bertie sporting a fantastic pink striped tie). In addition, their articles actually continue on the next page (Vogue, for the love of all things great and small, please take note). This greatly facilitates my non-linear pattern of reading which usually includes reading things completely disjointed until the entirety is read.

By the end of the flight (which Craig so diligently tracked- he’s a doll, we are getting married tomorrow should you like to throw us a party)…i had read nearly everything, saving Tony Blair’s “lessons learned” essay for the return flight. As soon as i move to DC, i am tewtelly subscribing, using the subscription envelope (hello, brilliant!). Long story short, read “the Economist” and “the Alchemist” while you’re at it...they’ll change your life, and if they don’t, you probably don’t get it anyways. You probably also fell asleep on a tray table during a “red eye” flight across our fine country and have a serious crick in your neck…oh wait, that’s me.
xo, mer