Hours of productivity lost.
C is Claire, H is Craig, M is Mer and J is Josh
(previously celebrated in MM Vol. 10)
(starting in mid-string)
J: Oh god, and now it’s just ___ and me back here and she’s talking about death…
Joshua
Your Ass’ Coordinator
C: Death rules!!!
El Dia De Los Muertos
J: Except when you’re discussing it with someone who’s, um, how do I put this gently? Old.
Joshua
Your Mom’s Coordinator
M: it's like making holocaust jokes with a j3w and a german.
J: I notice that you spelled jew as j3w… you know it’s not a bad word, right?
Joshua
Needs to Find a New Job as Some Other Sort of Coordinator Coordinator
J: Yeah… You hate jews. Excuse me, j3ws.
C: I mean I was disappointed to find out you WEREN’T a-choo!
J: Don’t get me wrong, I have no fear of death… I just don’t want to discuss it with someone who is significantly closer to it than I… there’s too much smiling and nodding to be done.
Joshua
Fanaticism Coordinator
H: you have no fear of death? I'm jealous. I'm terrified.
C: Me too…..jealous and terrified. I gotta get right with Jesus. Which means I have to give up the Juice….. I mean J3Ws
J: That’s why it’s so much better just not to believe in Jesus!
Joshua
The Son of God’s Coordinator
M: *clearing throat* Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats.
J: YOU’RE A GOAT… IN A TUNNEL… or something.
Joshua
Livestock Coordinator
C: I just LOL’d re:Livestock Coordinator.
J: Was it a laugh out loud or a BAH out loud, goat?
Joshua
Mental Anguish Coordinator
M: the tunnel is a metaphor for jesus.
C: Oh, I thought the goats were for S’tan….
C: I just have a lasting anxiety in my soul, having been the victim of countless disasters in past lives, including but not limited to:
1. Pompeii
2. the Holocaust
3. the Vietnam War
This betch has died in a LOT of tragedies….i gotta get right with Laksmi the 8 armed goddess baby.
J: So which is it… jesus or laksmi? Or are they the same to you?
Joshua
Questioning Coordinator
M: don't you know there is only one true way to heaven? jesus said "i am the way, the truth, the light. no man enters into heaven, but by me."
J: Go read your bible, jesus freak.
Jesus… Satan… Same thing.
Joshua
Devil’s Adovcate Coordinator
J: So the fax machine just started dialing by itself, without anyone near it or feeding a fax into it… I think satan has heard our conversation…
Joshua
Sh!t-My-Pants Coordinator
C: Dang, has it been 7 years ALREADY?
M: the people in my office are probably wondering why i am laughing so loud. and then quietly snickering to myself in manner of pee wee herman.
J: So something’s definitely going… there was quite a bit of level 2 whispering when the team came back from the meeting a bit ago…
Joshua
Probably Not Going To Be Working Here Much Longer Coordinator
C: Something or someone?
J: Oh, um, “going on” not “going”… Damn you, Claire, beat me… Kinsey.
H: yeah claire...beat him. beat him real nice.
M: uhhh...i don't get it
J: Go back to church, Mary Magdalene!
Joshua
The Trip to Hell Coordinator
M: best one yet sh!the@d mcf1_1ckf@ce
J: When are you coming to NYC? We are so gonna fight. And, no, I won’t go easy on you just cause you look like a girl.
Joshua
B!tchslap Coordinator
C: Josh, she can totally kick your @$$.
M: totally kick your @$$. i have two older brothers AND i'm from bum f1_1ck. you don't stand a chance nancy boy.
J: Pleeeeease… I grew up in the projects… and I know Gun Fu.
Joshua
Your Funeral Coordinator
M:
J: Umm… does that mean that you’re tough?Cause to me it means you got punched in the face.
Some of us are skilled enough to dodge punches…
Joshua
Smooth Coordinator
M: i got into a fight with some concrete stairs and got a better nose out of it.
what did you ever get out of dodging punches?
J: Respect.
Joshua
Accounting Coordinator
C: Oh, you’re back to normal now?
J: Yeah, I love accounting.
I’m going out for a cig before I start denying people their unemployment… anyone want to join?
Joshua
Poverty Coordinator
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