Philiosopher Phriday: Lazy, Irate Edition

Dear PHILOSOPHER:

NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME AND MY BLOG. WAAAAH!

-WHINY BLOGGER

Dear WB,

Dear Whiney Blogger,

I suppose your Nirvana has already peaked and descended, running along the approximate trajectory as the WB network, which closed on Sunday, September 17, 2006 with The Night of Favorites and Farewells, a block of their "signature" shows. It is pretty much down hill from here, so you might as well accept it. No one gives a crap about your "Philosopher Phriday" nonsense. Do yourself a favor, and go back to a small overpriced liberal arts college and get a degree in Philosophy. Now THAT would do a WORLD of good. Or Mer de Claire, you can just roll with your under-utilized fashion design and puppetry degrees and never fully realize yourself at all while engaging in self-destructive behavior and chasing boys that ultimately make you miserable anyhow. WOW...where did that rant come from? I mean, enlightenment, noble truths, eightfold path, blah blah blah...

-Ms. Disaster

p.s. i smell like a hippie, which must mean i am like, in touch with the universe.

send your whiney beetching to merdeclair@gmail.com

whizgiggle

i need a vacations.

the cafe where i was somehow insulted in another language

This is a picture of me holding a lovely plate of fancy sandwiches in a café in Vienna, Austria. Craig made it fancy. I love him.

***email transmission of the day***

Adam sends Mer the an AP article-

Subject: The Daily Athenaeum - W.Va. billboard declares devils
hatred for church; townspeople dislike sign

CEDAR GROVE, W.Va. (AP) -The devil made them do it.
Read more

Mer sends to Claire, and so it goes…

C: "Jesus was unconventional," he said. "For churches to be growing they need to be cutting-edge, they have to be unconventional as well. Obviously you are going to ruffle some feathers doing something so bold. We want people to understand church doesn't have to be boring."

That is cool. but they're not pulling it off very well.

M: I think it's ridiculous.

C: The "hate" thing is stupid....makes me think of God hates f@gs

M: Of course it's stupid. The dev1l hates the church because he <3s f@gs. j/k!

C: I love church, the dev1l AND f@gs!

M: I like goliath as a cyclops, winged, chicken butt giant.

C: transmish: Mos Def = David.

M: I feel so beetchy today. Want to scre@m at someone. People annoy me

C: Me too, we gotta watch Faster, P*ssycat. K*ll! K*ll! It's so full of hot girl rage.

M: GOD, it still won't let me upload picture (regarding previous blog). I need dragon costume. Added new tag "I f#$king hate everything"

C: "I need dragon costume" ?

M: 'cause I am breathing fire today. Potentially making strange dinosaur-like noises. Passer Byers take note.

C: I'm s@d1stic like my name was $@de. I delight in making people feel stupid. It's because I hate myself.

M: I don't want to make ppl feel stupid
I just want to bl_lrn them to a crisp with my
l@ser be@m eyes and/or fire breath.
I shudder with h@te.

C: Are you 100% dragon, or mostly sea monster?

M: The dragon emerges from the sea occasionally
(say once every 40-45 days)
to breathe fire on the unwitting masses
Much like the merrow emerges from the sea
to entice Irishmen who live in costal cottages
though, that aspect hasn't of yet worked out in my favor

C: That's poetry, thar. I wanna be a selkie...is that like a merrow?
My dragon comes out every 29 days.
Her name is Flo and she's a mean Chinese auntie.

M: 3 things:
1) Phycodurus eques
2) Dragon in the Sea
3) or simply "Teggie" the Welsh version of "nessie" (my name being Welsh and all)

C:
1. "It is illegal to catch and keep sea dragons, as they are a protected species." You should get a tattoo of one! Fighting a swan!

2. that book is g@y. J/K!

3. I am Welsh too! Don’t I resemble this famous Welsh person? Har har har

(see picture at top)

M:
1. that should be a 2 fur tuesday
2. you are!
3. you resemble everyone. everyone except me. so there. i hate everything.

Two fur Tuesday Showdown: Raccoon vs. Baby Chicken

So i asked my next-door neighbour about his baby chickens. He responded that a few survived, and that the others were ruthlessly snatched by some nefarious raccoons. ah man, i like raccoons too...with the exception of the scary rabid raccoon that lingered just a little to long on my front porch being all scary and rabid last year. anyways, here is the inaugural Two for Tuesday Showdown

Mustache Monday Vol. 13 part 2

OHHHH The Edge. As most people know, Mer is the biggest U2 fan EVER. I just think they're ok. Well, better than ok, they're great but I'm not rabid. I'll tell ya what, though. That The Edge guy sure does have a comely mustache.

Observe:

Philosopher Phriday: Vol. VIII

Dear Philosopher,

I just have to have the latest movies on DVD before they hit the stores. There’s a Mexican lady who sells these dvds in the subway at 8th avenue. She brings her kids along to help her, and sometimes they have churros. I like churros. Where else can I get a $5 copy of the Simpsons movie AND a sweet rolled dough cinnamonny comestible delight? I guess my point is… is this morally indecent? Am I contributing to an underworld crime ring? If I alert the authorities to Marielena’s doings, am I sending her and her children to the flophouse? Does she rely on my purchase of that new Markie Mark j0int to send money home to Chihuahua? Please advise.

--Guilty Whitey
Dear GW,

I am at the end of my rope. I am nauseated by life; it is insipid, without salt and meaning. If I were hungrier than Pierrot I would not choose to eat the explanation people offer. One sticks a finger into the ground to smell what country one is in; I stick my finger into the world, it has no smell. Where am I? What does it mean to say: the world? What is the meaning of that word? Who tricked me into this whole thing and leaves me standing here? Who am I? How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it, why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn’t it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager? I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint?

i'm feeling prolific. and stuff.

nuh uh.

there is a song that goes with this. we will record it for you and figure out how to upload for the maximum newborn baby panda experience. thank you!

--Management