Friday, September 11, 2009

True Lyaf: Mer Should Donate Her Body To Science, Part II

Dear kids,

This summer has been super fun.

For whatever reason, living in a congested and humid city built on a swamp led to my largest organ having a total meltdown...I know, shocking. Of course, I'm talkin' about the skin!

It all started with a little fun all-natural detergent from Trader Joes. Really, I am not quite sure what I was thinking. Purchasing a botanical item to basically soak fabric which has physical contact with me all day long?! Note: when you are allergic to a vast quantity of “botanicals” approach with the upmost care. It only took me about 10 days to three weeks to discover the source of the irritant. Nothing makes a girl feel sexier than red itchy skin!

Well, once irritated, the litany of annoyance carried through the majority of the summer when I decided to attempt a massive detox using the “
Clean Program” (of Gwyneth Paltrow fame). I say “attempt” because an ill-timed visit to New York City and an overall lack of will power totally screwed it up at around day 14 of 21.

This DID however help clear up some of the madness as did the following:

A visit to the Immunologist for food testing…
Allergic to: barley, shrimp, barley malt
A visit to the Gastroenterologist for an esophageal endoscopy and biopsy…
An affirmative diagnoses of
Eosinophilic Esophagitis
(an allergic inflammatory condition in the esophagus, yeah)
Another visit to the Immunologist for MORE food testing (this time on my back!) …
Allergic to: peanuts (and pretty much every other nut in existence except almonds and walnuts, green olives, rye, yeast, flounder, pork, tomatoes, potatoes, mollusks, eggs (again?!), etc. etc.

Is this confirmation that I may indeed be an otherworldly being?

So, for all the jokes about living in a bubble (good God, if you only knew how much I wish that was possible) and donating my body to science…

I am donating my body to the
National Institute of Health.

Love,

Merlikethesea

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